On this site, in the Solid Blog and on Wellness Wednesdays on The Spin, we discuss ongoing strategies, ideas and plans for sustaining ongoing foundation for mental health and wellness.
If you or anyone is struggling or in crisis right now, please call 911 or visit the nearest emergency room. Alternatively, crisis resources can be found here.
Is there something in your life that you would like to change but it feels impossible, too late or too hard?
Or maybe it’s that you’re worried that people would judge you or be disappointed in you.
Many of us can also find ourselves attached to a certain identity that can feel connected to a relationship, lifestyle or work.
All these things can feel true, but it can also be true from a gut feeling level that:
- The work or relationship just doesn’t feel like it’s working
- You’re constantly feeling upset or thinking about the situation in a negative way
- You find that you are feeling more down and anxious than relaxed and content
As human beings, we seek comfort and safety. And changing any known situation can feel risky, which is the opposite of comfort and safety.
Every one of us has our own unique situation and sometimes they can be quite complicated.
- With a family situation, it can be that there are many people involved who’s lives may be impacted with change.
- With work, it can be that the company’s culture is fundamentally different from yours or that there could be a specific issue with one or a few colleagues.
- It can also be that the your chosen career path is no longer doing it for you, but you’ve invested a lot of resources and time, and it doesn’t feel possible for you to explore something different. Especially when there are responsibilities and obligations, like with family.
But not only is change possible, it can be that things can be and feel so much better.
Here’s also another perspective: If you are more fulfilled and satisfied, would you not also be a better family member, partner, friend or work colleague?
One thing that often stops people from acting on change is when the thinking mind get caught in ‘analysis paralysis’.
And the biggest problem with ‘analysis paralysis’ is that the so-called analysis can literally be never-ending, which is often what keeps people stuck.
Here are two suggestions:
First – Find some time and space for you to have alone. And then ask yourself, if the situation were to remain exactly the same as it is right now a year from now, what’s the first thing you feel? This is an exercise to clearly get in touch with your gut instincts.
Second – If you want to do a longer intuition barometer test and you’re trying to decide between, say, two decisions, spend a week “living as though” with one decision and pay attention to how it’s feeling, and then do the same thing the following week with the other decision.
This second exercise takes more time and commitment, but it can powerfully demonstrate how you are feeling intuitively.
If you notice having strong feelings, whether negatively or positively, these are signs that there is a need for some kind of action.
Actions can come next, but first get clear about your need for the change by getting clear about you’re feeling on a gut level.