Category: Mental Fitness

On this site, in the Solid Blog and on Wellness Wednesdays on The Spin, we discuss ongoing strategies, ideas and plans for sustaining ongoing foundation for mental health and wellness.
If you or anyone is struggling or in crisis right now, please call 911 or visit the nearest emergency room. Alternatively, crisis resources can be found here.

It’s my belief that we all feel some feeling of being stuck at some point in our lives.

In my experience, feeling stuck is a concern that brings many people to seek out therapy or coaching, or looking for some other resource to help to move forward and feel unstuck.

With that said, however, even if it is something that we might all experience in one way or another, it doesn’t necessarily make it easier to work through.

We can feel stuck about a lot of things:

• Relationships
• Work / career
• Health-related habits
• Everyday routines
• Generalized feeling that “life feels stuck”, feeling as though life Is on a hamster wheel or Groundhog Day

The feeling of feeling stuck can be quite persistent.

And for some people, if the feeling goes on long enough, they end up resigning themselves to feeling that way.

Or it’s only when the feelings of being stuck becomes too much is when people are motivated to take action.

Some Ways We Can Feel Stuck

Feeling stuck can happen when you’re struggling with a situation that doesn’t feel quite right or not really aligned with your values.

It can also happen when significant life decisions may have previously been made based on the influence of others (parents, family or cultural pressures).

It might also be that unhelpful habits have been developed over time and it can feel as though it’s too late to change.

What Can Keep Us Feeling Stuck

It can be a very powerful feeling to believe that it’s too late or too hard or too ingrained.

We can feel that “things are good enough” or “the fear of failure” because of uncertainty can keep us from achieving our highest potential.

However, here’s a thought that might help:
The top regret discussed in the book, The 5 Top Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware is: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

What Can be Done About Feeling Stuck

You’ll notice that when people talk about being stuck, it’s usually phrased as “being stuck” or also, “feeling stuck”. 

So, the first thing to recognize is that these are feelings, and while it might feel like it, it’s highly unlikely that you’re completely stuck and without choices or options. 

And one way to think about feelings is that they are signals to let you know that something’s up.

Here’s a quick tip: What is one thing that you can do just 1% differently right now? Now go and do it. The small “win” can help motivate you to keep going and to potentially make other changes.

Ways to Work Through Feeling Stuck:

• Examine your cognitive biases (aka “don’t believe everything you think.”) – We all have automatic thoughts, but many of us are unaware of our own biases shaped by our non-objective values and beliefs. For instance: commitment bias is sticking with a past decision to try and avoid feeling like we may have made a previous mistake or to be a “quitter” which can definitely impact the feelings of being stuck.
• Develop More Effective Habits – It’s possible for things to change, but it usually doesn’t happen overnight.  As we discussed, the book Atomic Habits is a good place to start. Read more about it in one of my previous posts here.
• Try Therapy, Counselling or Coaching – These processes can help to identify and to work through why you’re feeling stuck, what might be preventing you from moving toward change and figure out how it can be different.

On this site, in the Solid Blog and on Wellness Wednesdays on The Spin, we discuss ongoing strategies, ideas and plans for sustaining ongoing foundation for mental health and wellness.
If you or anyone is struggling or in crisis right now, please call 911 or visit the nearest emergency room. Alternatively, crisis resources can be found here.

What’s the Secret to Making Changes?

Identifying areas for improvement and understanding the need to make a change is one thing, but how to go about making changes is a totally different thing altogether.

Developing Better Habits

Building better habits is the equivalent of the law of compound interest of self improvement.

Habits are the foundation for changes, whether it is for self care, better productivity or overall consistent and ongoing improvements.

Many of us are more often focused on goals and outcomes, with less emphasis given to the need for developing better habits and the continued ongoing process of engaging in helpful habits.

In my work, I often discuss the importance of process and the time it takes to make changes, but today’s discussion will be focused around the work of James Clear and his book, Atomic Habits, in which he has established more clearly defined systems around developing better habits.

Connecting Identity to Our Desirable Habits and Outcomes

It is difficult to connect the promise of a future outcome to motivation, as we can be more tempted by short-term satisfaction over longer-term promises. 

However, it is more meaningful when we can clearly connect our identity to our actions.

Your identity shapes your habits and your habits shapes your identity. Every habit is like a vote for the type of person you want to be.

For instance, ultimately the goal is to become a runner, not to run a 5k.

Making changes doesn’t come easily or quickly.  The key is to think about change as a process, rather than an immediate change.

Relishing Long Term Benefits

Humans are not naturally wired to prioritize long term benefits over immediate rewards therefore it’s more difficult to favour sustained work over immediate gratification.

And when we are striving for improvement, goals are necessary, they are not sufficient. The key is in the in process.

For that reason, the path to developing better habits looks more like this:
Identity => Process => Outcome

Four Laws of Behaviour Change

Adopting a desirable habit:
• Make it obvious – cue
• Make it attractive – craving
• Make it easy – response
• Make it satisfying – reward

Breaking an undesirable habit:
• Make it invisible
• Make it unattractive
• Make it difficult
• Make it unsatisfying

According to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, he believes that there are two fundamental habits to develop: Exercise and reading.

Exercise because taking care of the physical self, can also be contributing factor to managing emotional health as well. And reading because it can help to be resourceful in solving any problems.

I would definitely agree with James Clear, but I would also add that developing a habit to also support mental well being is also important. Whether it’s setting aside time to make a habit of journaling, meditating, or engaging in talk therapy, I look at it as one of the foundational habits to help support the other helpful habits to build upon.

On this site, in the Solid Blog and on Wellness Wednesdays on The Spin, we discuss ongoing strategies, ideas and plans for sustaining ongoing foundation for mental health and wellness.
If you or anyone is struggling or in crisis right now, please call 911 or visit the nearest emergency room. Alternatively, crisis resources can be found here.

Why the Mind Body Connection is Important to Understand for Better Mental Health

As a helping professional, those of us who work using a holistic approach, believe that overall health means having health and that there is a connection in all the area of our lives, including the mental and the physical.

This is often referred to as Mind Body Connection.

And while I work from the basis of this belief, I do want to be sure to clarify that I am not a somatic or body-based trained practitioner, but I will be providing some suggestions to gain more body awareness and therapies.

Mental Health is Not Just Noticeable By Differences in Mood and Behaviours

We often think about our emotions and mental health specifically in relation to mood or behaviours, but based on the Mind Body Connection philosophy, it can be valuable to also consider the impact our emotions can have on our physical selves as well.

Some people might think of the idea of the Mind Body Connection as ‘woo-woo’, but the National Institute of Health a government agency in the US, publicly acknowledges that overall health has a connection with physical and emotional well-being and uses the term “mind body connection” in their literature

In the US, it has been reported that over 75% of primary care visits were considered to be stress-related.

There may be people who don’t realize that they are having emotional difficulties until its noticeable in the physical body. Even then, they may not realize that it is emotionally connected.

Many people who consult their family doctor for a physical concern, such as issues with sleep, lack of energy, higher blood pressure, heart palpitations and so on, may find that many of those issues can also be connected to an emotionally-related concern, as well.

Chicken or the Egg?

There is so much inter-connection between emotional and physical health, it can sometimes be difficult to figure out which came first: the mental distress or the physical ones?

Not exercising regularly, nor eating nutritionally, or practicing self-care may mean that there could be other less desirable behaviours like using alcohol, tobacco or other substances for self-soothing.  These can lead to poor emotional health. 

But then, feelings of anxiety and stress can make it difficult to practice consistent overall self-care.  It’s important to consider the on-going need to balance both the necessity for care of physical and mental health.

Compromised emotional health can lead to a weakened immune system, which can leave you more susceptible to colds, flus and infections.

Many people may not realize that their physical symptoms may also be a sign of emotional distress. 
They can include, but not limited to:
• Chest tightness or pain
• High blood pressure
• Shoulder, neck and back pain
• Headaches
• Heart palpitations
• Decreased energy levels and tiredness
•Upset stomach

Importance of Deep Breathing Properly

Something I learned a few years ago that was a total light bulb moment for me was that many of us don’t know how to breathe properly or at the very least, don’t know how to really take deep breaths.

Here’s something that totally illustrates the mind body connection: When we continually take shortened or shallow breaths, it keeps signalling to the brain and nervous system that there’s something stressful happening.

The shortened breath is the body’s way of getting access to do something quickly, like running away.

But when we continually breathe in this shallow way, we can habitually feel stressed or in some kind of danger.

Deep breathing practices are important because it’s an immediate way to signal to the brain and body that it’s safe to relax, and often the mood and physical symptoms of hyperarousal will turn itself down.

Tips to understand the connection between emotional and physical health better

(Especially some of the symptoms above are present.)

• Speak to your family doctor. Consider asking your doctor, “I don’t think my physical concerns are emotionally related, but is it possible that they may be?”
• Consider starting a mindfulness, yoga practice or other physical practices like martial arts. These practices can help with developing body awareness.
• Seek out Somatic Therapies. A combination of talk therapy and specific training in understanding physical responses to emotions such as Sensory Awareness, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Traumatic Release Exercises.
• Check out meditation and deep breathing apps. Like Headspace, Calm, Breathe or apps for that would guide through deep breathing.

We’ve only scratched the surface of the Mind Body Connection today, but to truly think about what’s required for overall health, it’s necessary to be aware of the health-related connections between the mental and physical.